TheWeirdWorld (@TheWeirdWorld)


As an adult, it would be a HUGE relief if Santa was real.
No matter what I do, I always feel like a teenager pretending to be an adult.
I wish I knew which songs remind other people of me.
The older I get the more I think everything is bullsh*t
They should make the bachelor but instead of a guy it’s a dog and it’s 16 families competing to be his new home.
Isn’t it weird how the object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.
I wonder how many medieval chefs were executed because the king’s food taster had food allergies.
I’d like to see a few different successful directors simultaneously direct their own versions of the same script, j… https://t.co/Y1t9futRGV
Underwear is weird. I am currently wearing, underneath my pants, a smaller, secret pair of pants that only I know what they look like.
Virgins are labeled losers, but they are the ones who haven’t lost anything yet.
“Boyfriends Of Instagram”.... Seriously Need Our Help!... https://t.co/jnrMEvqedu
I use humour to cover up my seemingly endless sadness.
You wake up when you die in a dream because it is the only thing in existence your brain does not know how to simulate.
If santa keeps track of “naughty” kids every “year”, and the year doesn’t start until January 1st, that leaves 6 da… https://t.co/VjTgTCqbHq
Being born in a rich family is like getting a good spawn point in an competitive online multiplayer game.
You never realize how ugly you are until you have to stare at yourself in the mirror while getting a haircut for 30 minutes.
In movies, Santa never goes to the house next door.. he always takes off and flies out of town.

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