portmanteauface (@portmanteauface)


RT @itsallbollocks: enough normalising, let’s make shit weird
RT @FeralFerrell: Them: don’t be dramatic and make a bigger deal out of it than it is. Me: https://t.co/9rD0bZylUS
RT @FeralFerrell: Them: don’t be dramatic and make a bigger deal out of it than it is.

Me: https://t.co/9rD0bZylUS
RT @themicheniche: I’ve come to the conclusion that if you don’t know the answer, whatever the question, “Smurf” is as good a response as a…
RT @themicheniche: I’ve come to the conclusion that if you don’t know the answer, whatever the question, “Smurf” is as good a response as a…
RT @lmegordon: "you wanna be bad?" hell no, I'm old I wanna sleep
RT @lmegordon:
RT @AngryRaccoon2: Well that tweet went over like DJ Khaled..well doing anything really
RT @AngryRaccoon2: Well that tweet went over like DJ Khaled..well doing anything really
RT @MunkMania: [staring off into a beautiful sunset, peacefully smiling] Him: *wraps his arms around me, kisses my neck* and whispers into…
RT @MunkMania: [staring off into a beautiful sunset, peacefully smiling]

Him: *wraps his arms around me, kisses my neck* and whispers into…
RT @Heatinblack: My confessional is just a list of things I’m willing to do for cheese
RT @Heatinblack: My confessional is just a list of things I’m willing to do for cheese
RT @YSylon: After drinking just one sip of smart water: https://t.co/YWaw0NqKWa
RT @YSylon: After drinking just one sip of smart water: https://t.co/YWaw0NqKWa
RT @Marlebean: Sorry I yelled "Delete your account!" during your wedding vows.
RT @Marlebean: Sorry I yelled
RT @UncleDuke1969: “You’re gonna ruin your eyes, Arthur.” https://t.co/KNxc1k3fSL
RT @UncleDuke1969: “You’re gonna ruin your eyes, Arthur.” https://t.co/KNxc1k3fSL
RT @TheAlexNevil: Marriage is work. Make sure you negotiate a decent wage and dental.
RT @TheAlexNevil: Marriage is work. Make sure you negotiate a decent wage and dental.
RT @itsmebeegee07: Yeah I pregame* before going out** Nap* Bedtime**
RT @itsmebeegee07: Yeah I pregame* before going out**

Nap*
Bedtime**
RT @lmegordon: I bought my husband a stud finder for Father's day so he can always find himself and also hang the damn curtains.
RT @lmegordon: I bought my husband a stud finder for Father's day so he can always find himself and also hang the damn curtains.
RT @Jandalize: Packing and unpacking bags is my superpower.
RT @Jandalize: Packing and unpacking bags is my superpower.
RT @angry_barman: I have two hopes right now: the first is that everyone stays safe. The second is that when this is all over we studio 54…
RT @angry_barman: I have two hopes right now: the first is that everyone stays safe. The second is that when this is all over we studio 54…
RT @rn_murse: BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH WILL NOT STOP EATING SCONES!!!!
RT @rn_murse: BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH WILL NOT STOP EATING SCONES!!!!
RT @eleniZarro: doc: what brings u today patient: i have an irrational fear of urine doc: so…therapy patient: *screams* WHERE?
RT @eleniZarro: doc: what brings u today

patient: i have an irrational fear of urine

doc: so…therapy

patient: *screams* WHERE?
RT @bendherback: still thinkin about lordes gooch
RT @bendherback: still thinkin about lordes gooch
RT @TheRealPhalguy: Is death by Peanut Butter M&M's a thing? I guess I'll find out.
RT @TheRealPhalguy: Is death by Peanut Butter M&M's a thing?

I guess I'll find out.
RT @bornmiserable: the biggest lie that religion sold people is that religion is necessary to be a good person
RT @bornmiserable: the biggest lie that religion sold people is that religion is necessary to be a good person

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